I have this thing regarding umbrellas – I don’t believe in them, in mostly the same way as you would ordinarily not believe something like the Rain God.
As it happens, I believe in the Rain God. As one of the faithful, I have survived unscathed and un-drenched for the most part of my life by studiously avoiding the insulting behavior of interposing a rickety contraption made of steel rods and nylon between myself and His Tears, preventing the Spiking of the Hair and the Speckling of the Eyeglasses, those signs by which you will know the True Believer.
That, of course, and the Squishy Socks. Faith is not for the squeamish or the (too) cold of feet…