I remember walking away from the party at 3AM, the old college’s cobbled square slippery with frost, and saying to my best friend (who watched it happen, the lightning swiftness of it all) and saying to him “You know, this is the biggest responsibility I’ve ever taken upon myself.”

Six years later I walked over those same cobbles in mid-afternoon under pouring rain and stopped under the very same archway I had said “until next week” to her, my glasses spattered with water of uncertain provenance.

I stood there until there was no more reason to pretend something was going to happen, ever again.